House

Remember in a Charlie Brown Christmas, where Lucy is complaining she never gets what she wants..she just gets toys and clothes and books, and Charlie Brown asks her, what DO you want? "Real estate".

I emailed my realtor/friend earlier to let her know that the improvements I'm having done to my house are nearly done, and to please email me pictures because I am excited to see it. I also asked if we should lower the price. She emailed me back and said that might be a good idea, that people are trying to make way-low offers and she tells them no. She said one realtor - a REALTOR, in a professional position - wrote her a very nasty note about my house, and that it upset her. I can't believe anybody, especially in a position like that, would do that. Why are people so mean? I told her she should have called me, that we could talk about it and I would've made her feel better. I hate she got that.

I want to see the note, although it probably isn't a good idea. I'm already crying so hard I can barely see the monitor from the shocking sting of it all.

I know my house isn't new or fancy. It's small and old, but it's cozy, and it's solid. My energy bills are so low! Everything works great and I just spent $2,000 fixing anything that didn't look good. New sink, fresh paint, new linoleum on the floors that aren't wood. Fix up the bathtub, seal the basement walls, and repair and paint all the trim outside. A pressure wash and lots more. What could she find to be so nasty about? And the land is so beautiful, and so peaceful. Even if you don't like the house, how can you feel bad at all with all those trees and the grapevines and the hammock I put up.

Things like this just dredge up that insecurity in me, that I always am impulsive and don't think things through, and I can't do anything that matters right. I should have never bought a house in the first place!! I just wish someone would love it like I do. A nice retired couple with dogs who like to garden, or a young couple with a baby.

I used to work in land development, and trust me, land is being eaten up in the Raleigh-Durham area. It's more slow coming to Durham but still, it's hard to find 1.25 acres of land - much less a house - for the price I am asking. I was asking $84,900 but I dropped it today to $79,000. I need to at least break even, but I wish I could make some money off it too, to pay off debt.

Anyway. I know I shouldn't let this hurt my feelings but I am so sick of prejudiceness, and people being so rude and ugly when there is just no cause. You don't like the house? Fine! But you don't have to write nasty letters to me and my realtor.

Sometimes I just wish I wasn't so different, that I didn't have such eclectic taste that makes everyone go, "It's.... nice."

I miss my dog and my mama and my daddy and I hate it when I cry, why do I let everything make me cry?

If I ever get ahold of that note or that realtor's name, I will very professionally report her to her company, along with a copy. She needs to learn that being cruel is not a virtue.